The Marines mold you. They pump hate through your veins, they keep you hungry. It’s like a box of hornets constantly being shaken. Then, when the time is right they unleash the coiled spring that is the nations best fighting force. God help our enemies we’re unleashed upon..
Mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
That’s how I run.
I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.
This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.
And I will not be afraid
of your scars.
I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.
We’re worlds apart right now
Amazing how much things can change in just 5 short months. I’ve joined the Marine Corps - earned my title, trained for combat and now I’m sitting idly on the opposite side of the country gearing up for my follow on schooling. They say if the Marine Corps wanted you to have a girlfriend they would have issued you one and when I’m separated by a country away from the one person I love most in this world I certainly feel that way!
For over 3 years now she has patiently waited for me as I’ve gone through this transformation. She’s supported me when I struggled and pushed me harder when I became complacent. There is no way I could be the man I am today, hell even the Marine I am today, with out her by my side. It’s hard to describe how hard it can be to go from seeing each other, feeling each other, constantly to no contact what-so-ever and now just a phone call and a cruddy quality Skype date.
But here is where commitment is defined for me. When loving someone is hard. When it takes time out of your day just to have a conversation. When you’re willing to lose sleep just to see her face. This is where you take it to the next level. For her I will. So as Marines around me go out and chase useless tail and bring back one night mistakes I’m going to proudly hold her picture and show it off to every person I meet;
“This girl is what’s waiting for me and I love her more than anything in this world”
- MSgt: Now that they fucking took our rolled sleeves... and now knife hands, what the fuck are we gonna do?
- Gunny: Jazz hands!
- MSgt: *does spirit fingers/jazz hands* RECRUIT, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE RIGHT NOW.
- Me: *dies laughing* MSgt, I think I peed a little. I don't know whether to be scared or amused.
- Gunny: *jazz hands* SECURE THAT GODDAMN HAPPINESS RIGHT NOW, CORPORAL.
- MSgt: *jazz hands* YOU THINK THIS IS FUCKING FUNNY? *Flailing his arms while doing jazz hands*
- Me: Oh Jesus. Oh sweet baby jesus.
- Gunner: *flamboyantly* Sssspiriiiitttt fingerrrrsssssss!
- Me: We're all going to hell.
Honestly, it’s really strange just sitting here waiting for 5:00 to come so my life can change forever.
Marine boot camp here I come